Pellau Magazine: Dating Three Guys to Find the One pt.2

11:37 AM | Posted by Pellau | Edit Post

Juggling multiple men until you find someone special and sparkly sounds reasonable to us. But is it genius—or dangerous?

BY CARSON GRIFFITH

"If you are looking for a serious relationship, then you should absolutely be dating more than one man at once... you need quantity to find quality," says "dateologist" and flirting expert Tracey Steinberg. Even if you're looking to keep it casual, "then by all means, also try out the variety and the spice of life."

Steinberg does not suggest sleeping with more than one man at once because of added drama and STDs, but she advises all of her clients to go out on dates with multiple people—until they find someone that becomes particularly sparkly and special to them.

Emily, 28, who was my grandmother's worst nightmare—a woman who became fixated on each new flavor of the month without keeping perspective. So she decided to try a little man-juggling.

"I would date a guy and if I liked him, start picturing our wedding within the first three dates," she admits. "Everything I did became about him. Every invite I got would become, 'Oh, I can invite him to this.' Every dress I bought would be, 'Oh, I can wear this in front of him.' And this would go on and on for three month cycles or so."

She consciously tried to break this habit by dating more than one person at a time. "My friend suggested I date more than one person at a time for my own good, and I met Adam and I started seeing the pattern happening again, but I forced myself to break it. I started seeing another guy, and even a few other dates here and there with some losers, but the whole time, it really just helped distract me," she says. "I was forced not to put my life on hold for him."

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