Pellau Magazine

Article by KEAY NIGEL

We all have a couple of people in our lives who are unhealthy for us, but still, we keep them around so no one has hurt feelings or feels offended.

There’s the nosey friend who only cares about gossip, the one who only comes to you for help, the one who is also your enemy (or frenemy), the one who comes to you for advice but never heeds any of it (ie: the “ask-hole”) the passive aggressive one, the one who puts other people down, the one who takes you for granted, the one who’s always negative and pessimistic, and the one who thinks she’s Regina George from “Mean Girls” — the list goes on.

I’m not saying they are bad people who you should immediately chase out of your life, but as you grow older — into your 20s and 30s — you will quickly realize that your time is very, very precious. People often say, time is money — and  it’s true. Every minute you spend doing something or being with another person is an investment, and investments should be made wisely.

As the years go by, your patience and tolerance for drama will likely plunge. You are not longer interested in other people’s business or getting pulled into unnecessary drama. You see the need to reserve your emotional energy and mental capacity for your more important personal fights  —  your ambitions, your dreams for a better future, your pursuit of true love and marriage and so on.

Today, decide for yourself which people are valuable assets worth a continued investment and which you should cut from your life. Understand that it’s not your responsibility to make everyone who comes into your life remain a part of your life, and it is definitely not your obligation to try and keep everyone happy. Stop being a people-pleaser, learn to say “no,” and once you start to do it, you will begin to see who the leeches in your life are and who still sticks around because they truly care about you.

Let go of those friends who, in retrospect, don’t actually help you become a better person. You cannot expect positive changes in your life when you continue to surround yourself with negative people who only stop you from moving forward. Let go of those who are unwilling to change for the better — those who keep making the same mistakes and have you hurt each time. Those people are not worth it. Don’t settle for unsatisfying relationships. You know you deserve better.

In a way, loss can be a your gain.:
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