Pellau Magazine

I, along with plenty of other members of Gen-Y, have facilitated a toxic perception of what “settling down” means. Just this past year, I must have said something along the lines of I need to realize who I am alone before I can be with someone else countless times. Talk about ignorance at its finest.


Recently, I spent time with a good friend who’s dating a girl he really likes. I saw him laugh and enjoy himself more than he has in a very long time. Perhaps being single and spending time alone works for some of us, but this doesn’t mean that someone can’t be his or her best self while being in a relationship.

Let’s dive into the possibilities for why we may have so much hate toward the prospect of relationships:

There was a bad experience… or two… or 10
Don’t give up just because you have a broken heart. It happens and it sucks, but not every relationship will work out — only one should. It may seem pretty strange to force yourself to accept that assh*les are an inevitability in life, but don’t allow these people to squander your belief in love.

It’s wonderful if you’re single and enjoying it. But just because this is how you’ve chosen to spend the next few months or years of your life doesn’t entitle you to belittle your friends and family members for making their own decisions.

Things didn’t work out for your parents
Divorce is awful, but you can’t spread your negativity unto others. Sure, about 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, but 50 percent don’t. Try to understand that people can actually glean happiness from being in a relationship. Unions don’t always end in mediocrity or pain.

People are going to act in accordance to their own desires, so you might as well support their happiness and allow them to figure things out for themselves. Worry about your own life, and don’t allow sadness from your parents’ past to crush the visions for your future.

Why being in a relationship isn’t as bad as we often make it seem
If you’re considering being in a relationship, stop listening to what everyone else has to say and make your own choices and mistakes. And if you’re not considering a relationship because you don’t think you’re ready, stop judging others for being in a different place emotionally.

Eventually, most of your friends will be in relationships (and you might be, too) so rather than offering negativity, get to know the potential guy or girl. Know that you don’t have to do things alone to understand the world or yourself.

Many of us scrutinize relationships as a reflection of our rocky pasts. Our pasts may cloud us, but work to stay open. Stop being negative and have faith in yourself — and your future partners.:
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