Pellau Magazine

Everyone has a strong opinion on dating in the workplace, the root of the deliberation being whether the romance is worth it. Maybe it’s because we’re all super sober during office hours, but the idea of getting romantic in the workplace is still debatable.

For some, it’s like treading lightly in a minefield. Bad dates aren’t easily avoided, relationships escalate faster than normal due to close quarters, and hesitations are magnified under high pressure situations. What happens when everyone goes out to after-work drinks and you two leave together?

For others, though, dating a colleague makes perfect sense. We’re working longer hours in closer proximity to each other, which makes the line between professional and personal blurred. Especially at more contemporary companies, where employees are encouraged to partake in frat-house-style ping-pong tournaments and cocktail parties, it’s hard to separate business and pleasure. Not to mention, it’s way cheaper to split that last-minute cab in the morning.

Once you decide that you’re going to go for it, take a page from TBS’s “Men at Work” and don’t mess it up. If there’s one thing worse than breaking up, it’s having to share a cubicle with your ex. Catch “Men at Work” on TBS Wednesdays at 10/9c.

The pressure to look good everyday is real. Feeling hungover the morning after a secret happy hour with your coworker is no excuse for not pulling it together. You have to look hot, but not in an overt way. Remember, it’s still the office and you don’t want that uncomfortable dress code conversation with HR.

As tempting as revenge sex on your boss’s desk sounds, there are much better ways to be romantic that don’t involve getting caught. Taking a detour to walk her to the subway is like the modern version of slipping a note in her locker and it’s much more discreet.

Save the arguments for when you are both off the clock. No one wants to listen to your personal drama while heating up pad thai on lunch break. If you two have to duke it out, take a quick walk and don’t let it interfere with work.

It’s going to get messy when you have multiple exes working side-by-side on a group project. Also, we’re sure your boss won’t approve of your title as office heartbreaker. Dating more than one coworker is like taking a dump in the workplace bathroom: No matter how hard you try to cover it up, it’s always going to smell.

Half the allure of your colleague is the idea of getting intimate in close quarters. Just make sure that when you sneak off into the copy room, you keep it fast and clandestine. It’s all fun and games until someone jams the printer.

Do you really want to have a daily reminder of all your past sexual escapades together every time you walk past the conference room? When this relationship ends, there’s no getting fat and falling off the face of the planet for a little bit afterwards.

Once you two call it quits, your working environment is going to change. Just imagine the kind of detour you’ll need to navigate to avoid her cubicle.

You two are already spending the better part of your days together, so change up who you grab a bite with. Don’t turn your lunch into a date; save the meal and a movie for after work. The last thing you two want to be is “that couple” who only socializes with each other. Not to mention, keeping some things a mystery, like how you build your salad (extra spice? a little nutty?), is just oh-so seductive.

Despite what you tell yourself, you are not impervious to the office rumor mill. Once someone spots you two sharing a cab home together, it’s all out in the open from there. You may think you’re fooling everyone, but in reality, you’re as obvious as that post-holiday-party “sick day.”

Regardless if it’s innocent flirting by the water cooler, or full-on carpooling to work in the morning, your colleagues are going to assume your relationship is more serious than it is.

Minimizing your Excel spreadsheet will be misinterpreted as hiding a racy G-Chat window, and getting up to go to the bathroom will be exaggerated to mean you’re sneaking in a quickie. Who cares as long as you’re getting love, laid and paid?