Pellau Magazine: 9 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COWORKER

My Dad gave me some good advice about topics that are verboten in the workplace: "Pretend you're in church, but leave God out of it." What he meant was, if you wouldn't say it to your pastor, don't say it to your co-worker. And while it might be a little extreme in our current societal atmosphere, it's a good rule to keep in mind.

1. "I've got this rash on my stomach. Wanna see?"

Unless you need to provide a medical reason for missing work, it's not a good idea to discuss health issues with your co-workers. Your recent surgery, for example, might be interesting to you, but to your colleagues it's a prime example of too much information. Not only can you destroy co-worker relationships by getting too personal, but you might also cause other problems if your correspondent has a weak stomach.

2. "If a guy named Joe calls, tell him I was transferred to the New Zealand office."

You might simply be trying to dodge your best friend or your brother-in-law after an argument, but asking co-workers to screen your calls is poor corporate etiquette. This is how rumors about loan sharks and mafia hitmen start, and you don't want your colleagues theorizing about your personal life.

3. "That new guy is a [expletive deleted] moron!"

Two birds with one stone on this one: Don't curse and don't trash-talk your co-workers. Mind your business manners in the office and attempt to maintain a constant air of professionalism. Even if the other people in your office don't observe these rules, you should rise above the crowd and find better ways to express yourself.

4. "You wouldn't believe the chick I brought home last night."

Whether it's your spouse or a one-night-stand, intimate relationships are best left behind when you walk through your office door. You won't necessarily annihilate co-worker relationships by discussing this topic, but it's just too easy to go overboard. Tolerance levels will vary among your colleagues, so it's better to just avoid the issue entirely.

5. "I'm so hung over -- or maybe I'm just still drunk."

What you do in your own time is your business—just make sure to keep it that way. Telling your co-workers about your night of bar-hopping might not seem like a big deal, but people have long memories. If it gets around the office that you like to get smashed every weekend, any respect you've earned will begin to dwindle.

6. "If I don't get a raise soon, I'm gonna lose the house."

Two more birds: pay and personal finance. Not only is talking about your pay bad corporate etiquette, but it might also be against the rules. Some companies forbid employees from discussing earnings amongst one another, so keep it to yourself. Plus, talking about your impending foreclosure or your bad investments fall into the category of over-sharing.

7. "Hey, you should friend me on Facebook."

Haven't you heard about the people who have been fired for Facebook posts and other social media mishaps? Your co-worker relationships are fragile, and any objectionable content they see on your Facebook page or Twitter account or blog might find itself in the hands of your boss. And the last thing you want is to alienate the people you work with every day.

8. "When are you due?"

Unless a woman is obviously in the latter part of her third trimester and talking about upcoming maternity leave, don't ever ask a woman about her pregnancy. If it's just a little holiday weight rather than a fetus growing inside her, she's going to take offense, and your co-worker relationships will suffer.

9. "I think the boss is bipolar or something."

This is something I've started noticing more and more often. Don't make jokes about mental illness or issue uneducated diagnoses. Unless you have a psychology degree and you're in a confidential session, you shouldn't be discussing it at all. Because if it's true, you're making fun of a valid psychological disorder; if it's not, you're insulting everyone who suffers from that disorder and making light of a serious issue.

New Territory

Now more than ever, men have to watch how others behave to figure out appropriate corporate etiquette. Every office is different, and some topics are taboo in one place and welcomed in another. Don't just assume something you commonly said at your last job is OK to say at your new job.

It might be perfectly acceptable to talk religion or politics, or any other issue in your office, but don't be the first to bring it up. In fact, wait until it becomes a frequent topic of conversation and until you've figured out what level of sharing is considered acceptable.